Note: The answer to the one hour challenge fic on the
sinbad/bryn list. It's set right after the Stalkers
and it's in Bryn's POV.
I am sitting in my cabin, alone, on my bed. I feel the waves rocking the ship gently, but I don't take notice of it. I only have one thing in my mind. One thing that has been there since we left the town. Sinbad kissed me. If I close my eyes, I can sill see him, the look in his blue eyes before. I can still feel his lips warm against mine, his tongue touching mine. I can still feel his hands holding me, burning me, making me feel like I'm on fire. It felt so good. I wanted this moment to last forever.
For luck, he said. What it really just for luck? My heart wants to say no. It wants to say that it's because he wanted to, for so long. I so much want to believe it. But my head tells me it really was only for luck. But if he kissed me, it must be because he wanted to? Did he wanted to kiss Bryn or the woman? I don't know.
It's the reason why I stay alone in my cabin. Not so long after he kissed me, he was already kissing another one, right in front of me. Does he think that I'm insensible? That I wouldn't care? That I don't care? I do. My heart is still aching. This isn't the first time it happened. Everytime, a part of my heart would break. Every smile he shared with another, every kiss, every soft words, he would take a part of me away. I don't know if there's still a part of my heart left inside me. He took it all away. My heart was already his, but he took pieces of it, not even knowing.
But today,it broke. In thousands of pieces. Shattered. He finally showed me some sign that he cared about about me more than just a friend, just to destroy it a moment after. It hurt. To watch him kiss her, maybe more passionately than he kissed me. But I didn't cry. I would not show him how much I hurt. Never. He would never know how much pain it caused me.
Why? Am I not good enough for him? Am I too ugly? Too small? I don't know why. I will probably never know.
I am cold. Why can't I be in his strong arms once again? It felt so good to be there. I hug myself and let a sight out. I think Doubar understood. He knew I couldn't stand watching them.
Suddenly, I feel like crying until I'm exhausted. I love him. Since the first time we met, I felt a little something inside of me everytime I saw him, everytime he would touch me. It grew into something stronger. And I know that I'll never stop loving him. But how will I survive seeing him with other women? A heart can only break once, right?
I still can see him, smiling at me with that look in his eyes. Was it all in my imagination? Was it just some fantasy?
Biting my lips, I lay on the bed and curl myself into a small ball. I close my eyes, trying to hold back the tears. Sinbad. Sinbad, why did you kiss her? Unable to control the tears anymore, I let them fall freely on my cheeks. Damn him for making me feel this way! He probably already forgot he even kissed me! I will never forget. Even if I lose my memory again, I Know I will never forget Sinbad's kiss.
Holding on to that thought, concentrate on the rocking of the ship. My tears finally stopped to fall. I have no more tears left in me. As I slowly drift to sleep, I realize that I will wait for him, as long as necessary. Maybe I should hate myself for this, but I know I will never love another, but him. It makes me vulnerable. I know I will hut again, but he is worth the pain. Even if it takes a lifetime, I will wait for the day where he would look only at me. Maybe that day would never come, but I hang on to that hope.
It's my last thought before I fall asleep. Sleeping will make me feel better. Because I know I'll be dreaming about him.